(Jump to Chat 1, Chat 2, Chat 3, Chat 4, Chat 5, Chat 6, Chat 7, Chat 8, Chat 9, Chat 10)
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What happens when a Rape Survivor collaborates with an Abortion Survivor as they strive for healing and recovery? |
Hi, I'm Miriam. I was sexually molested and had an abortion in my teenage years.
Ms. Vulgar Buzz survived her mother's attempt to abort her. Imagine what it was like for Buzz to learn of this when she was eighteen years old.
We have both had our share of trauma.
Our unlikely collaboration began when I discovered TheVulgarBuzz.com in 2023. I was intrigued because of my own experience. Read more about that here.
My girlfriends and I developed "What Would Female Fetuses Say?" (WWFFS.net) in September of 2024 as a result of pondering Ms. Vulgar Buzz's work for several months.
The Vulgar Buzz site disappeared in fall of 2023 and though we had tried to reach out to the site creator many times, she had covered her tracks well. We never connected.
Until…
In December of 2024 we realized that 'TheVulgarBuzz.com' domain was available and we immediately bought it and pointed it to one of our web pages (Who Wuzz Vulgar Buzz?).
BAM!
Within 24 hours we had received an email from Ms. Vulgar Buzz herself. Read more about that here.
After exchanging a few emails we realized we needed to chat on the phone. We both agreed that it would be a good idea to record it, transcribe it and post it for all to see. We posted our first conversation here and below you will see our eighth conversation.
This particular conversation is special because we are joined via a text relay to our new friends Paul and Bobby and his wife Sharon in Uganda and their Ugandan lawyer friend Lilian. Bobby and Paul have a YouTube channel called ‘Free to Speak’ and respecting our desire for anonymity agreed to communicate with us this way and allow us to publish it here.
Our encounter with Bobby and Paul started after our friend and Internet guardian sent them some of our WWFFS cards. They discussed WWFFS and Survivors Unite on a couple of their YouTube Episodes (specifically: Episode 47 and Episode 50) after that. It wasn't long before we began connecting via email and planning this special chat.
In
Free to Speak Episode 41, Paul, a clinical psychologist who specializes in trauma and recovery, had the visual below mixed into the video. This type of therapist helped me so much (Buzz speaking here) and I cannot stress enough the importance of finding someone like Paul in your area. Perhaps Paul himself can help you or at least help you find someone. (nkatapaul@gmail.com, WhatsApp+256765480918).
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| Paul, our psychologist friend in Uganda whom we spoke with in the chat below specializes in recovery from trauma. |
If you've explored our site, you'll know that it is our desire to not only
recover and heal from our own trauma, but to aid others in such recovery and
healing. This is especially pertinent because the results of trauma dumping can be very negative. We discuss this in our conversation below.
(Jump to Chat 1, Chat 2, Chat 3, Chat 4, Chat 5, Chat 6, Chat 7, Chat 8, Chat 9, Chat 10)
For Their Ninth Chat, Miriam and Buzz Have another Text Conversation with Their Newfound Friends in Uganda: Paul and His Lawyer friend Lilian as well as, Bobby and His Wife Sharon
(Recorded October, 2025. Transcribed by our internet guardian)
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Our Internet Guardian: ...Happy Independence Day to you all 😀 ... 63 years since the break with the UK, right?
Sharon: Thank you! 63 years is correct!💃
Our Internet Guardian: Good morning/afternoon everyone. Miriam and Buzz are on Zoom already and can see this screen.
Bobby: Bobby is here!
Paul: Paul here too
Sharon: Sharon is here
Bobby: So we’re waiting for Lillian?
Miriam: Good morning Paul, Sharon and Bobby!
Buzz: Hello from Ireland!
Bobby: Hello back at you, in the afternoon here.
Buzz: Yes, 1:30pm here…
Bobby: Gotta love time zones! 😀
Lilian: Lilian is here
Miriam: Hi Lilian! So I saw the post that Bobby placed on this thread yesterday… shall we begin to address some of these questions?
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[repeat of Bobby's post from previous day:]
Bobby: Hi all,
I don't know if we discussed what we will be talking about, but I'm assuming it will be around the topics that Miriam suggested in he original email. The first topic was "When Jesus used a whip."
Is it ever right to get angry? What is the appropriate response to injustice? Miriam pointed out that Jesus was angry because people were using a space that was dedicated for women and gentiles to worship (the outer court) to make money. Some think this was an overreaction. Miriam and Buzz think otherwise, adding, "Women and gentiles had 'no voice' in that time. Culturally women had little to no status or voice anywhere in the world unless they happened to be royalty. Gentiles had little to no status or voice in the courts of the temple as well. But they did have a place, and when that place was displaced Jesus, who is God, was furious. Using a whip and violent overturning of tables he made his point. You will not treat the 'least of these' this way!! As conflicted as we are about using the whip of vulgarity on our public website, sometimes we console ourselves with the fact that Jesus defended 'the least of these' with a whip and even violent action.
The questions I have are:
In light of this, how are we to defend those who need to be defended?
To what extent is "violence" warranted and when is it too far? Jesus also taught that he who lives by the sword will die by the sword, and he prevented the disciples from attacking those who were arresting him. So where is the line?
How does this apply to the "whip of vulgarity" from the WWFFS web site? How do we respond to the humans that are being discarded as trash regularly?
Miriam also suggested topic, "We love men and tiny male humans too!!"
Miriam wrote, "As you’ve probably noticed, WWFFS focuses on females and their bodies. As you may have guessed, this is because of the way our culture currently frames the abortion issue, and therefore it makes sense to confront misguided feminine sophistry with firm and clear truth from a feminine perspective. You also may have guessed what isn’t so obvious on our website: namely that we care just as much for tiny male humans being discarded as so much trash as we do the tiny female humans. In that light, the subject we wish to discuss further makes more sense. Here it is: Thus far we’ve focused on the trauma to the females who have been aborted or are having an abortion. But we would like to focus a moment on the men who have had their sons or daughters aborted. Can we talk about their trauma for a moment? Can we also talk in more detail about the double standard towards men's roles in procreation that you've mentioned before?"
We can did into the double standard deeper, and I also have these additional questions:
What is the extent that men experience trauma over abortion and how is it similar or different that what women experience?
What obstacles do men experience that make it difficult for them to express or acknowledge their trauma?
Anyone can feel free to add their own suggestions for where the conversation... can go.
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Bobby: Sure! Which of the two topics should we begin with?
Buzz: Yes, where shall we begin… Since Bobby and Paul are the hosts of the show, we will follow your lead 😀
Bobby: I was thinking that because Miriam suggested the topics, they would start the topic.
Miriam: Ok, we’ll have a go at it. Let’s start with Jesus using a whip…
Bobby: Maybe she can start by giving her ideas about why she suggested these topics?
Buzz: It is good to note that he used the whip on the sheep and cattle, not the people… right?
Bobby: I always thought that myself, but what do others think? Did he?
Buzz: Yes Bobby, only St. John mentions the whip and it is clearly directed at livestock. That being said, he had some forceful and abrasive things to say to the people who were abusing the temple….
Miriam: Yes, well, the whole thing of Jesus being clearly angry and forceful in his displeasure, we sometimes get the notion that Jesus is our cosmic Teddy bear… but that is not always the picture scripture paints of him.
Bobby: Jesus wouldn’t allow his disciples to attack those who were arresting him.
Miriam: Bobby, yes, He had his face set like a flint toward the cross which He was determined to bear.
Buzz: So we brought this up because the VulgarBuzz memes are very forceful and abrasive to say the least…
Bobby: When does “using a whip” go too far?
Lilian: I would interpret whip as any form of punishment to those in disobedience of God's command. Different acts in the Bible have received different whips which may not necessarily be the 'flogging'.
Miriam: Yes Lilian, I see your point. Whips are not always physical in scripture, sometimes metaphorical for sure.
Miriam: Yes, well, the whole thing of Jesus being clearly angry and forceful in his displeasure, we sometimes get the notion that Jesus is our cosmic Teddy bear… but that is not always the picture scripture paints of him.
Bobby: Jesus wouldn’t allow his disciples to attack those who were arresting him.
Miriam: Bobby, yes, He had his face set like a flint toward the cross which He was determined to bear.
Buzz: So we brought this up because the VulgarBuzz memes are very forceful and abrasive to say the least…
Bobby: When does “using a whip” go too far?
Lilian: I would interpret whip as any form of punishment to those in disobedience of God's command. Different acts in the Bible have received different whips which may not necessarily be the 'flogging'.
Miriam: Yes Lilian, I see your point. Whips are not always physical in scripture, sometimes metaphorical for sure.
We just wondered if any of you saw the parallel between Jesus being forceful and abrasive in order to defend the right of gentiles to worship God and the forceful and abrasive language used by the Vulgar Buzz fetus images?
Buzz: We wondered if the trauma expressed by myself in these memes is somehow as forceful as Jesus using a whip to protect and empower those who otherwise really had no voice… as we mentioned, it seems that Jesus was especially perturbed because the outer court was for the ‘voiceless’ gentiles who had no other recourse for worship than that space and they had set it up as a market instead…
Sharon: Jesus went beyond a verbal whip by physically using a whip and overturning tables but He is God. My question would be, do we have the right the do the same given the fact that we are all flawed but He is perfect.
Miriam and Buzz: Precisely Sharon, do we? This is what we are conflicted about in our website.
Buzz: I took down the original Vulgarbuzz.com because of this conflict in thinking that I’d gone to far… I also didn’t want some wack-o going and doing violence to people as a result of my vulgar and raging memes. We want less violence to humans, not more. The problem of course is snapping people into seeing fetuses as humans, right? And sometimes a forceful meme can be enough of a slap to get people to consider that reality… What do you all think?
Miriam: I resurrected the original Vulgar Buzz memes and combined them with my toned down versions because I saw the value of expressing the very real trauma of a fetus who could somehow understand what was about to happen and had the vocabulary to respond to the injustice and violence it was about to receive. I’m not sure that many people really stop to think about it that way.
Lilian: The interpretation of that slap can be felt in various ways which may be emotionally or physically driven.
Sharon: I don't object to your approach after all the Bible also says "spare the rod, spoil the child", so in some circumstances it would be right to use the approach Jesus used. That being said the Bible says love covers a multitude of sins so personally I would correct in love [rather] than the whip.
Buzz: We wondered if the trauma expressed by myself in these memes is somehow as forceful as Jesus using a whip to protect and empower those who otherwise really had no voice… as we mentioned, it seems that Jesus was especially perturbed because the outer court was for the ‘voiceless’ gentiles who had no other recourse for worship than that space and they had set it up as a market instead…
Sharon: Jesus went beyond a verbal whip by physically using a whip and overturning tables but He is God. My question would be, do we have the right the do the same given the fact that we are all flawed but He is perfect.
Miriam and Buzz: Precisely Sharon, do we? This is what we are conflicted about in our website.
We want less violence to humans, not more. The problem of course is snapping people into seeing fetuses as humans, right? And sometimes a forceful meme can be enough of a slap to get people to consider that reality…
Buzz: I took down the original Vulgarbuzz.com because of this conflict in thinking that I’d gone to far… I also didn’t want some wack-o going and doing violence to people as a result of my vulgar and raging memes. We want less violence to humans, not more. The problem of course is snapping people into seeing fetuses as humans, right? And sometimes a forceful meme can be enough of a slap to get people to consider that reality… What do you all think?
Miriam: I resurrected the original Vulgar Buzz memes and combined them with my toned down versions because I saw the value of expressing the very real trauma of a fetus who could somehow understand what was about to happen and had the vocabulary to respond to the injustice and violence it was about to receive. I’m not sure that many people really stop to think about it that way.
Lilian: The interpretation of that slap can be felt in various ways which may be emotionally or physically driven.
Sharon: I don't object to your approach after all the Bible also says "spare the rod, spoil the child", so in some circumstances it would be right to use the approach Jesus used. That being said the Bible says love covers a multitude of sins so personally I would correct in love [rather] than the whip.
Miriam: We certainly respect that position. Thanks Sharon.
Bobby: The violent potential response to words is a real concern. What are the impacts of words? The rhetoric in the US is leading to assassinations and attempted assassinations. If you can convince a crazy person that someone is evil or comparable to Hitler, then that crazy person can justify killing them.
Paul, what is the psychological perspective on this?
Lillian, what are the laws in Uganda about what you can say and can’t say?
Buzz: Thanks Bobby, yes, Charlie Kirk and the attempts on Trump have left us wondering if we are feeding that violent monster. That is why we brought this up. We’re curious what Paul and Lilian think too.
Lilian: The impact of words can lead one to act under a heat of passion hence leading them to justify a defense of provocation once they arrested for having committed some offences like Murder, assault etc
Buzz: Yes, this is why we are considering removing the Vulgar Buzz memes from prominence on our website. They might incite violence and that is the last thing we want. Even though our intent is to protect the unborn and give them a voice and expose the trauma, it might indeed cause more trauma in the hands of an imbalanced individual with violent tendencies…
...there’s those that, based on their life experiences (probably trauma), will view life events as well as words we say through a filter of bias and pick what they they want...
Paul: There will always be manipulable persons out there. Also there’s those that, based on their life experiences (probably trauma), will view life events as well as words we say through a filter of bias and pick what they they want... that is if someone listens to a Charlie Kirk podcast and is biased against rightists, he’ll only filter out points that support his bias . Same case if they listened to a leftists message will only pic bias that feeds their own beliefs...
Lilian: This is true because different individuals give varying interpretation of those Vulgar Memes. And legally this breeds the Intent which later transforms to Actions.
Bobby: It would be disappointing to see the memes disappear from prominence but I would understand if that happened.
Miriam: Why would it be disappointing?
Bobby: Because there is nothing out there like it. The memes make a strong case for the unborn, though satirical.
Buzz: So what if instead of having the Vulgar image first… we simply had the tame WWFFS image and then a link to see the original image if they so desired?
Bobby: I think I misunderstood your comment.... You are talking about the ordering of the memes, tame then vulgar versions. I thought you were considering removing all memes entirely.
Buzz: Sorry, I was responding both to you and Lilian. I understand your disappointment because honestly, sometimes people need that strong case presented to them with a bit of a slap. And I was responding to Lilian as well because we don’t really want to see a lawsuit against the site, though they’ll never find us, they might go after our Internet guardian for promoting us…
Bobby: What would the lawsuit be over? Can you give an example of how that could potentially happen?
Miriam: We are considering removing the Vulgar Meme from the Diaper change pages and having only the toned down WWFFS meme… then underneath that have a link to view the original Vulgar Buzz Meme to click on if they really want to see the ‘dirty diaper’…
Buzz: I’m not sure how there could be a lawsuit unless someone was killed by a person sporting one of our memes on his t-shirt or something like that… it would implicate us as inciting violence…
Bobby: How liable in Uganda are people for words? What if a person says something controversial but someone else takes those words too far and commits violence? Is the person who made the verbal comments liable even if they never wanted anything violent to happen?
Lilian: We could be charged with Harmful Publications. Because harmful publications could be websites that contain stories and images portraying violent incidents that could incite a person. These publications are likely to fall into the hands of children and young people.
Miriam: In the US we have the first amendment (freedom of speech, etc) which is seemingly up for much debate lately… but websites are viewable by the entire planet… the first amendment won’t help us in a lawsuit from Britain for example…
Bobby: True. I was thinking something like that as a possibility.
Miriam and Buzz: So this is helpful, you are helping us consider this all more deeply, thank you everyone! We may make some revisions to our site based on this.
Sharon: It was nice being here guys and great reading your insights! Unfortunately I have to step out . I will be glad to chat again next time. Blessings🙏
Miriam and Buzz: Thanks Sharon, we will have to step out in about ten minutes… are there any other things we want to discuss this time?
Bobby: Sometimes I have struggled with whether to allow some of the comments we have received on Free to Speak. For example, we had someone comment that it was “freedom of speech” to celebrate Charlie Kirk’s assassination. We had someone else comment that the Nazi’s killing homosexuals was an example of “a broken clock getting the time right once.”
These are terrible and scary comments.
Miriam: Yes Bobby, some would use freedom of speech as a free pass to say or do almost anything. We don’t agree with that philosophy so it might make sense to make the changes we are considering to our site to set a good example so to speak.
Bobby: It would be disappointing to see the memes disappear from prominence but I would understand if that happened.
Miriam: Why would it be disappointing?
Bobby: Because there is nothing out there like it. The memes make a strong case for the unborn, though satirical.
Buzz: So what if instead of having the Vulgar image first… we simply had the tame WWFFS image and then a link to see the original image if they so desired?
Bobby: I think I misunderstood your comment.... You are talking about the ordering of the memes, tame then vulgar versions. I thought you were considering removing all memes entirely.
Buzz: Sorry, I was responding both to you and Lilian. I understand your disappointment because honestly, sometimes people need that strong case presented to them with a bit of a slap. And I was responding to Lilian as well because we don’t really want to see a lawsuit against the site, though they’ll never find us, they might go after our Internet guardian for promoting us…
Bobby: What would the lawsuit be over? Can you give an example of how that could potentially happen?
Miriam: We are considering removing the Vulgar Meme from the Diaper change pages and having only the toned down WWFFS meme… then underneath that have a link to view the original Vulgar Buzz Meme to click on if they really want to see the ‘dirty diaper’…
Buzz: I’m not sure how there could be a lawsuit unless someone was killed by a person sporting one of our memes on his t-shirt or something like that… it would implicate us as inciting violence…
Bobby: How liable in Uganda are people for words? What if a person says something controversial but someone else takes those words too far and commits violence? Is the person who made the verbal comments liable even if they never wanted anything violent to happen?
Lilian: We could be charged with Harmful Publications. Because harmful publications could be websites that contain stories and images portraying violent incidents that could incite a person. These publications are likely to fall into the hands of children and young people.
Miriam: In the US we have the first amendment (freedom of speech, etc) which is seemingly up for much debate lately… but websites are viewable by the entire planet… the first amendment won’t help us in a lawsuit from Britain for example…
Bobby: True. I was thinking something like that as a possibility.
Miriam and Buzz: So this is helpful, you are helping us consider this all more deeply, thank you everyone! We may make some revisions to our site based on this.
Sharon: It was nice being here guys and great reading your insights! Unfortunately I have to step out . I will be glad to chat again next time. Blessings🙏
Miriam and Buzz: Thanks Sharon, we will have to step out in about ten minutes… are there any other things we want to discuss this time?
Bobby: Sometimes I have struggled with whether to allow some of the comments we have received on Free to Speak. For example, we had someone comment that it was “freedom of speech” to celebrate Charlie Kirk’s assassination. We had someone else comment that the Nazi’s killing homosexuals was an example of “a broken clock getting the time right once.”
These are terrible and scary comments.
Miriam: Yes Bobby, some would use freedom of speech as a free pass to say or do almost anything. We don’t agree with that philosophy so it might make sense to make the changes we are considering to our site to set a good example so to speak.
There must be a balance somewhere between expressing the raw trauma a cognizant fetus would have at the threat of violent death in order to promote sympathy for the fetus (especially the targeted fetal populations of females of color with disabilities) and using a gentler means to get people to reconsider their choices. You are helping us find that balance.
Miriam and Buzz: There must be a balance somewhere between expressing the raw trauma a cognizant fetus would have at the threat of violent death in order to promote sympathy for the fetus (especially the targeted fetal populations of females of color with disabilities) and using a gentler means to get people to reconsider their choices. You are helping us find that balance. Thanks again everyone!
We have to step out everyone, thanks for engaging us on these sensitive issues. Until next time many blessings on you and yours!
Our Internet Guardian: I’ll do my best to get this formatted on and on the website in the next few days. I’ll send you all a link for review and feedback. Blessings all!
Bobby: That might work!
Lilian: In Uganda Under the Penal Code Act, one can be charged with the offense of incitement to commit an offense.
(1) When a person incites any other person to commit an offense punishable with death, whether or not any offense is committed in consequence of the incitement, and no express provision is made by this offense is committed in consequence of the incitement, and no express provision is made by this code or the other person to commit or when the offense is punishable by a fine only by such fine as is provided for the offense or when the offense is punishable by both a fine and imprisonment by both one fourth of the punishment is given to the person that incited.
(2) When a person incites any other person to commit an offense punishable other than by death, whether or any other law for the punishment of that incitement, he or she is liable to imprisonment fourteen years not exceeding one-fourth of the term of imprisonment provided for the offense which he or she incited.
Our Internet Guardian: Thanks Lilian, I’ll be sure to include that in the proper context above.
Bobby: Okay thanks! Bye for now!
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Bobby and Paul discuss chat #8 in
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Our friend and guardian created this business card that leads directly to our phone chats. Feel free to print up and distribute as many as you'd like! Pretty cool fan art I'd say!
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This is what the business card front and back look like. Use the link below to get the file your local print shop will need to make these cards. |
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