Diaper Change #31 - Fleeing Abuse and Incest

The Clean Diaper:

The Dirty Diaper:

We have softened the blow for sensitive souls in the Dirty Diaper above. Click here to open the unmodified Vulgar Buzz Original (VBO) replete with the trauma-induced salty language of an Irish abortion survivor.

Miriam's Commentary

Perhaps no other situation is as grave as when a woman feels trapped in an abusive relationship and finds herself pregnant from her abuser... and the worst scenario of abuse is when it is incestual. Fathers, uncles, cousins and brothers participate in this most distressing form of evil. I'll say it again, I don't really believe in capital punishment, but I'd be happy to make an exception for people who perpetrate such evil on a woman and her children. Hell can't burn hot enough for them.

In my personal trauma, I experienced the reality that there are so many good people and organizations out there that want to help a woman protect herself and her children from harm. The key of course is not to give up hope that such a place exists. My heart goes out to every woman in such an evil plight.

A Note from Buzz on Trauma Dumping

In my original meme you get the full force of trauma that I was working through at age eighteen when I discovered that my mother had attempted to abort me. My therapist recommended that I use my graphic design skills to work through my rage, grief and pain... a closely supervised 'trauma dump' if you will.

The visceral, raw and often vulgar rage you see in the original image is not that of some ultra right wing pro-lifer.

That fetus is me!

That little baby holding up the sign is me desperately trying to fight for my right to live.

This is personal, not theoretical.

Let that sink in a minute.

All that being said, I am happy to report that working through this under the careful guidance of my therapist has definitely helped. I've moved past the 'rage stage' and found some healing. Healing has also come through working with Miriam here and connecting with other abortion survivors (there are more of us than you think).

If you have been traumatized we highly recommend seeking healing through a psychologist who specializes in trauma therapy like our friend Paul in Uganda. (nkatapaul@gmail.com, WhatsApp +256765480918). We had the privilege of speaking with Paul in Chat 8 which you can see here.

My Vulgar Buzz Original memes are not for sensitive souls or the feint of heart. They are not made public to promote vulgarity, incite violence or bring harm to anyone. Nor are they an exercise in vicarious traumatization.

Rather they are shared to allow the viewer to gain some sense of the raw trauma that I and other abortion survivors have experienced. I believe it also gives a relatively realistic response of a tiny human in utero if it was given adequate abilities to express itself knowing it was about to be violently dispatched.

A Note from Miriam on Diaper Changes

A mother isn’t bothered by a messy diaper or a child covered in vomit. We clean them off, sometimes singing to them or tickling them along the way and then we send them off to play.

 
As such a mom, I’m treating this Vulgar Buzz Original as a child with a dirty diaper. I’m not bothered much by its stench and refuse to ignore the child because it is smelly or in this case, uttering crass vulgarities under dire duress; a completely understandable response to trauma.

It was pretty easy to imitate the VBO style with InDesign to make the more civil language version above. My intent in creating these toned down WWFFS style memes is to bring the same message as the VBO's without the lingual slap in the face that might keep some people from even processing the message.

We also want to bring healing to traumatized souls. To that end, Buzz and I have been sharing our phone chats in the 'Survivors Unite!' section. These conversations have had beautiful moments of healing and hope intertwined with the other themes presented on WWFFS.

Our true hope is that something we've done here will help someone make a better choice for the most vulnerable humans in the world.