Survivors Unite! (Chat 8)

(Jump to Chat 1, Chat 2, Chat 3, Chat 4, Chat 5, Chat 6, Chat 7, Chat 8)

What happens when a Rape Survivor
collaborates with an Abortion Survivor
as they strive for healing and recovery?

Hi, I'm Miriam. I was sexually molested and had an abortion in my teenage years.

Ms. Vulgar Buzz is an abortion survivor.

We have both had our share of trauma.

Our unlikely collaboration began when I discovered TheVulgarBuzz.com in 2023. I was intrigued because of my own experience. Read more about that here.

My girlfriends and I developed "What Would Female Fetuses Say?" (WWFFS.net) in September of 2024 as a result of pondering Ms. Vulgar Buzz's work for several months.

The Vulgar Buzz site disappeared in fall of 2023 and though we had tried to reach out to the site creator many times, she had covered her tracks well. We never connected.

Until…

In December of 2024 we realized that 'TheVulgarBuzz.com' domain was available and we immediately bought it and pointed it to one of our web pages (Who Wuzz Vulgar Buzz?).

BAM!

Within 24 hours we had received an email from Ms. Vulgar Buzz herself. Read more about that here.

After exchanging a few emails we realized we needed to chat on the phone. We both agreed that it would be a good idea to record it, transcribe it and post it for all to see. We posted our first conversation here and below you will see our eighth conversation.

This particular conversation is special because we are joined via a text relay to our new friends Paul and Bobby and his wife Sharon in Uganda and their Ugandan lawyer friend Lilian. Bobby and Paul have a YouTube channel called ‘Free to Speak’ and respecting our desire for anonymity agreed to communicate with us this way and allow us to publish it here.

Our encounter with Bobby and Paul started after our friend Farmer Fred sent them some of our WWFFS cards. They discussed WWFFS and Survivors Unite on a couple of their YouTube Episodes (specifically: Episode 47 and Episode 50) after that. It was soon after that when we began connecting via email and planning this special chat.

In Free to Speak Episode 41, Paul, a clinical psychologist, had the visual below mixed into the video which we've modified to protect his anonymity here. It appears to be his mission statement for the work he does among those recovering from trauma.

If you've explored our site, you'll know that it is our desire to not only recover and heal from our own trauma, but to aid others in such recovery and healing. This is especially pertinent because the realities of 'trauma dumping' and 'vicarious traumatization' are brought up in the conversation below.

(Jump to Chat 1, Chat 2, Chat 3, Chat 4, Chat 5, Chat 6, Chat 7, Chat 8)

For Their Eighth Chat, Miriam and Buzz Have a Text Conversation with Their Newfound Friends in Uganda: Paul and His Lawyer friend Lilian as well as, Bobby and His Wife Sharon

In our eighth conversation we were privileged to chat with our new Ugandan friends about the abortion laws in Uganda and the US, Trauma Dumping, Vicarious Traumatization and other issues related to WWFFS and Free to Speak.

(Recorded August 13, 2025. Transcribed by Farmer Fred)


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Farmer Fred: Good morning/afternoon friends in Uganda! Miriam has texted me to say her and Buzz are ready when you are!

Lilian: I am ready for the conversation.

Bobby: I'm ready. My wife [Sharon] is here too.

Paul: Paul here too.

Sharon: Hello Everyone.

Farmer Fred: Miriam and Buzz are asking if they can start with a preamble they have written for this conversation which they wish to include eventually on their website:

Bobby: Yes.

Miriam & Buzz: This particular conversation is special because we are joined via a text relay to our new friends Paul and Bobby and his wife Sharon in Uganda. Bobby and Paul have a YouTube channel called ‘Free to Speak’ and respecting our desire for anonymity agreed to communicate with us this way and allow us to publish it here.

Our encounter with Bobby and Paul started after our friend Farmer Fred sent them some of our WWFFS cards. They discussed WWFFS and Survivors Unite on a couple of their YouTube Episodes [specifically: Episode 47 and Episode 50] after that. It was soon after that when we began connecting via email and planning this hybrid phone chat / text relay which you see transcribed below.

Buzz and I have watched quite a few of Bobby and Paul’s ‘Free to Speak’ episodes and love the raw, unpolished and honest approach they are taking to hot button topics. It is incredibly refreshing to have intelligent people calmly converse about such sensitive issues without the usual incendiary rhetoric so common on social media. What a gift they are to the world!

Bobby: I appreciate this! Thanks!

It is good to know that our content is being watched and is valued for what we are trying to do.

Miriam: You are quite welcome. Would you like to introduce yourselves and today's conversation from your perspective?

Bobby: My name is Bobby and I am a retired academic from Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, Michigan. My primary area of expertise was in evaluating the effectiveness of government funded science, engineering, technology, and math education projects. I am currently living in Entebbe, Uganda with my wife Sharon, who is also in this chat. Sharon is a Ugandan citizen, and the two of us have been happily married for two years.

My YouTube channel with Paul has provided me with opportunities to discuss hot button issues that I have been wanting to address for some time. Today\s conversation is part of that.

Paul: My name is Paul and I am a practicing clinical psychologist from Uganda and am currently focused on rehabilitation work in Kampala, Uganda. I also see private clients for therapy both remotely and in-person. I am yet to be married, but am seeing someone in a promising relationship.

Lilian: I am Lilian, an advocate of the high court of Uganda (Lawyer). I am currently in private practice working with a law firm called Neon advocates.

Sharon: Hello, my name is Sharon, I married Bobby like has already been mentioned in his intro. I am a journalist by profession but currently a small business owner here in Entebbe - Uganda.

Miriam & Buzz: Good to cyber-meet you, thanks for being here.

Lilian: Nice to cyber-meet you too.

Sharon: Nice to meet you too.

Miriam & Buzz: We have a list of questions that we’d like to get around to but would prefer that you all start with any questions of your own if you don’t mind.

Bobby: Personally, the biting satire of the ultrasound cards resonates with us, but we also understand that it can be a turn off because it can comes across as extreme. For example, “Hey all you motherf#@kers!! Female Fetus lives matter!” “3/5 Human…that would be nice! We’d settle for 1/5 Human you F#@KING NAZIS!!!” “My body my f@#king choice you ass wipes!” This can be a turn off to some of your intended audience. What audience are you trying to appeal to and how do you anticipate they will be impacted by the cards, or do you have any stories to share of how people ARE being impacted by the cards?

Miriam: Our site is really about processing trauma.

As we’ve stated in our Survivors Unite section at the top of each page, we’ve both had our share of that.

At first it was just trauma dumping… Buzz’ therapist encouraged her to use her graphic design skills to let out her rage when she found out her birth mother had tried to abort her.

But as you might notice in our Diaper Change section, we tone this down, because the vulgar memes, while emphasizing the trauma, come across too strong for most… though we had plenty of friends here in the US and Ireland that found them funny as well as sad.

Lilian: Glad that she found healing in the teams works [sic].

Bobby: Yes, I have found them to be both funny and tragic.

Miriam: Perhaps if I’d seen some of those vulgar memes I might have reconsidered my choice. It might have been enough… I might not have aborted my child Emma. But others don’t need a hard slap, which is why I took Buzz’s original images [aka VBO's] and toned them down to keep the satire without so much of the bite or as we call it “the language of Mordor”

Buzz: Paul mentioned Trauma Dumping in Episode 40. This is precisely what my therapist recommended to me and exactly what I did when I created thevulgarbuzz.com. Was I such a rare case that this dumping led to my eventual healing?

Paul: Trauma dumping is not an entirely safe practice... especially for either party given the hurt one may not get relevant help if they open up to a person that is unable to be therapeutically relevant so I'd only recommend this in a safe space like therapy or very trusted individuals that can be of meaningful value.

Also dumping to an unsuspecting person might traumatize them as well. We call it vicarious trauma.

Buzz: Thanks Paul, this is precisely why we were conflicted in publishing things the way we did, but we were and still are willing to take the risk. If it helps even one person it is worth it to us… we know that this may offend some.

Bobby: In what ways were the images toned down? Were there ways they were toned down that we don't currently see in the cards?

Miriam: Well, it was the idea of WWFFS to take the Vulgar Buzz original images and tone them down for more sensitive souls. You can look at any of the diaper changes for an example. By the way, we never print the VBO’s (original vulgar images) but only the toned down WWFFS images.

Farmer Fred: Go here for a diaper change example: https://wwffs.blogspot.com/2024/10/diaper-change-36-just-shoot-me.html

The Dirty Diaper (Vulgar Buzz Original)

The Clean Diaper (WWFFS reworked meme)

Bobby: Wow! I'm looking at it now. Shocking but relevant. 

Farmer Fred: It is important to scroll down to see the diaper changed images after the VBO’s.

Bobby: Noted. Thanks for pointing this out. I failed to do this at first.

Buzz: Do you think it probable or even possible that a solid slap in the face with the trauma of my vulgar memes could actually help someone pause long enough to make a better choice for them and their unborn child?

Paul: Yeah. Probably a pause to think again. Probably.

Miriam: Our "Survivors Unite" section features several conversations between Buzz and Myself. These conversations happened after much healing and recovery had occurred in Buzz' heart. Do you think these published conversations might help people think and/or feel their way through the issues surrounding abortion?

In fact, if it is approved by you all, this conversation will be the 8th in that series…

Bobby: The raw honesty is a plus. I think people are looking for truth and are tired of the lies.

Paul: It helps to have real life examples [rather] than textbook theory. This tends to trigger thoughtful considerations.

Buzz & Miriam: Sharon and Lilian, as Ugandan women, what do you sense is the pulse of women in Uganda regarding abortion?

Lilian: Great... in Uganda abortion is illegal

Paul: Don't forget to also share your take on how Ugandan women relate to the abortion topic in day to day living.

Sharon: Uganda is 82% Christian (mostly Anglicans, Catholics, and Pentecostals) and 11% Muslim. The strong belief in God leads us to mostly be pro-life, but that does not mean that abortions still do not occur in secret. Whoever has an abortion, it is frowned upon. Many believe abortions leads to a curse if you get married and may cause you not to have children.

Miriam and Buzz: Thank you Sharon and Lilian, we appreciate this information very much!

Lilian: Let me discuss about abortion in the legal perspective. The Constitution of the Republic of Uganda under Article 22 provides for the right to life. It further states no one has the right to terminate an unborn child unless it's authorized by law. That implies that on medical grounds a doctor can conduct an abortion and it's legal in that aspect.

Paul: True. My contention is in the majority of abortions being as emotional as the impulsiveness in the act that got the pregnancy in the first place

Lilian: Yes, surely as a mother I would say abortions, whether through the recommendations of the doctors or not, cause a lot of emotional trauma because it leaves you as a mother with unending wishes of having seen this child to light.

Buzz: Lilian, can you give examples of some of the exceptions to the abortion ban in Uganda… the law as we’ve seen it seems to leave this wide open…

Lilian: You know when a particular act like an abortion is to be conducted, the opinion of an expert like a doctor is paramount and almost you have to choose between saving the woman in cases where medically that unborn child would cause health complications to the woman or lead her to suffer the consequences of having this fetus amidst her bad health.

In Uganda, any attempts to procure abortion are illegal for example, if anyone administers poison or use force of any kind to cause the miscarriage of a woman commits an offense and can be imprisoned for 14years.

The only exception to the abortion ban that can legalise it in Uganda is majorly on medical grounds after seeking expert opinion of the doctors.

There are also known hospitals in Uganda where abortion is freely done.

Paul: What happens if the fetuses' father doesn't consent to an abortion?

Miriam: Bobby and Paul, in one of your Free to Speak Episodes [Episode 9, Episode 10 or Episode 11] you brought up the double standard which gives men no say in their unborn children. We found this very insightful. Would you care to elaborate on that some more? Since our site is primarily focused on Women and their female fetuses, such things don’t naturally come up in our memes or our conversations, yet we of course believe with all our hearts that the males aborted and men that lose babies to abortion are just as important.

Bobby: The double standard is the idea that men have no say in whether a woman has an abortion even if he is the father (it is totally the woman\s choice), but the law will give him no choice but to support the child and pay child support if the child is born.

I'm not suggesting that men should not support the child once it is born, only that the father should be involved at every stage, including before the child is born.

Paul: Most abortions in the hospitals are initiated by women if not all. For many when a woman after conceiving thinks of the man as inadequate she aborts with or without his help. (talking From counseling experience) while if a man is wealthy, he should forget about the abortion option. Part of the reasons to the single mother boom.

Sharon: Whereas in Uganda as far as I know, it is mostly the men who tend to deny responsibilities whenever they make a woman pregnant and this leaves the women most times with no choice but to seek abortions since in most cases they have no means to take care of these babies, hence opting for abortion as the way out... [this] doesn't mean though it's the right thing to do.

Miriam & Buzz: Thanks Bobby and Lilian for the clarifications

Miriam: Paul and Sharon, you both are practicing Ugandan Christians. As such, what are your thoughts on how the abortion issue has unfolded in the west, especially the United States?

Paul: Grossly mishandled with too much liberalism. The way it was fronted as one of the major deciders for who becomes president didn't help. It simply gave platform to the prochoice people to have more audience to indoctrinate/confuse. Even though DJT ultimately won the battle, the war to me was lost to the "virus of idea." This platform molested many minds especially the females by planting an idea of abortion that is a little more acceptable than not.

Miriam: By the way, if you want a thorough history of abortion law sometime, listen to this  US lawyer explaining the facts.

Lilian: Through the availability of precedents by judicial judgments that are referred to as authorities during delivering of judgements, Uganda being a signatory to international instruments that uphold the right to life have led to the domestication of those laws. The presence of Non governmental organizations [which] have conducted workshops to sensitize the communities on abortion pros and cons.

Sharon: What you are saying is true but mostly these are corporate women who have the financial means to visit hospitals, but what about the women in the rural areas who have no say and means. Growing up in the rural area I have seen men deny responsibilities, which made some of these young and vulnerable women resort to the use of unsafe herbs or use of crude methods which in some cases led to death.

Bobby: What is the inspiration behind the satire? (It is stated on the website that the satire is inspirited by the Babylon Bee, but with a “more Irish direction replete with stereotypical salty speech.”) In a world where content like yours is openly fought against, what are some of the obstacles that you have had to overcome to keep this website running and growing in a way that is successful and engaging?

Miriam & Buzz: Thanks Bobby, indeed it was the Bee that first inspired Buzz to make her memes and we recognized that immediately. We love the Bee!

The Babylon Bee Meme that Inspired Buzz & Miriam

Lilian: There has been a conversation that women should be allowed to use their bodies as they wish, and abortion was one of the items that women sought to do without facing any criticism from the communities.

Paul: But is the fetus part of her body.

Lilian: I believe it is not.

Buzz: Precisely what we are asserting… thus the outraged female fetuses that would become women if allowed to live!

Once sperm and egg unite, a complete human being is unfolding… half of those are XX female… and to state that they are not human is ludicrous and the epitome of the sophistry of Mordor… so these tiny females have have a right to share their outrage… or at least discontent… and that is precisely what our site is about.

Miriam: WWFFS is about the traumatized female (and by inference male) fetuses that are under the threat of violent death… it is also about the trauma introduced to the abortion survivors and the mothers who chose abortion and yes, even to the fathers who have no say.

That being said, we’d like it to also be about healing and recovery from that trauma. That is the whole point of the “Survivors Unite” section.

Paul: This concept helps to manage guilt and stigma.

Miriam: Such is our hope Paul. I was so accepted and loved at my local faith community after I chose to have an abortion…. mind you, they are very much pro-life… but they loved me and helped me through my trauma… Buzz and I want to help others like we were helped.

Bobby: Also, here is another question Paul and I drafted: We understand the importance of protecting your anonymity, but are there partners you are working with to get the message out, and if so, how do you work with them in a way that keeps you anonymous?

Miriam: We are not sure how long our site will stay up… Google is not necessarily pro-life to say the least and when raw vulgar trauma is on your site… well, no telling how long they will leave it up…. We are over the 100,000 hit mark now since we started last October. We aren’t sure how many of those hits are web bots or real… crazy how many came from the Netherlands… LOOK!

Crazy statistic

Miriam: Farmer Fred is currently our main partner… he has sent out hundreds of the non-vulgar WWFFS cards to over 80 organizations, mostly in the US, but in several other countries as well.

Other than Farmer Fred, no one that we know of is really promoting our site. We leave that to God…  being a mom and doctoral candidate, I simply don’t have time to really promote the site… but we thought this conversation today was worth pausing for… it might just bring more food for thought and perhaps even some healing to traumatized souls.

Bobby: Are we the first from Uganda to visit the web site?

Miriam: Perhaps… Romania is the lowest registered number of hits at 253 since October 2024… Uganda must be less than that as it doesn’t show up in the list…

Buzz: Is there evidence of people in Uganda traveling elsewhere (perhaps neighboring countries) to obtain an abortion because of the laws in Uganda that restrict it?

Paul: It's not that deep yet I think. The law is just for PR

Buzz: PR?

Bobby: My understanding is that if a woman really wants an abortion in Uganda, she can get one way or another. Paul and Lillian may correct me if I am wrong about this. 

Paul: True

Lilian: Yes you can get the abortion from any hospital as long as you have money. Key factor is money.

However, lately there is a hospital I know that helps ladies conduct abortions at a free cost.

Bobby: I think what Paul is saying is that Uganda is pro-life for appearance sake, but maybe is not so strict about enforcing the law. Am I correct Paul?

Buzz: So, by PR Paul means that the law is really just to put a conservative face on it to pacify the pro-life groups, but underneath, they are really just as divided as any other country and still do abortions,… perhaps just not as many.

Paul: Some laws are for global appeal not necessarily for implementing.

Sharon: Women can easily procure abortions in Uganda. I have often come across sign posts advertising "safe" abortions!

Miriam: Once again the sophistry of Mordor leaks through.

Sharon: Right!

Lilian: The enforcement always comes at play when a victim of abortion has reported to the authorities that it was forcefully conducted against their will.

Paul: Not my message. I mean the law is very ambiguous on abortion serving both the prochoice and prolife as they may interpret to their good. That's why it's ambiguous. The reluctancy to be strict against abortion I think is intentional.

Bobby: Thanks for the clarification.

Lilian: The Ugandan law further states that a person is not criminally responsible for performing in good faith and with reasonable care and skill a surgical operation upon any person for her benefit , or upon an unborn child for the preservation of the mothers life, having regard to the patients state at the time and to all the circumstances of the case

Miriam & Buzz: This has been so enlightening for both Buzz and myself. Thank you so much all of you for taking the time to do this!

(Jump to Chat 1, Chat 2, Chat 3, Chat 4, Chat 5, Chat 6, Chat 7, Chat 8)

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Want to Spread these Words of Hope and Healing?

Our friend and guardian created this business card that leads directly to our phone chats. Feel free to print up and distribute as many as you'd like! Pretty cool fan art I'd say!

This is what the business card front and back
look like. Use the link below to get the file your
local print shop will need to make these cards.

Click here for the pdf your print shop will need for this card.