(Jump to Chat 1, Chat 2, Chat 3, Chat 4, Chat 5, Chat 6, Chat 7, Chat 8, Chat 9, Chat 10)
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| What happens when a Rape Survivor collaborates with an Abortion Survivor as they strive for healing and recovery? |
Hi, I'm Miriam. I was sexually molested and had an abortion in my teenage years.
Ms. Vulgar Buzz survived her mother's attempt to abort her. Imagine what it was like for Buzz to learn of this when she was eighteen years old.
We have both had our share of trauma.
Our unlikely collaboration began when I discovered TheVulgarBuzz.com in 2023. I was intrigued because of my own experience. Read more about that in our fourth phone chat transcription here.
My girlfriends and I developed "What Would Female Fetuses Say?" (WWFFS.net) in September of 2024 as a result of pondering Ms. Vulgar Buzz's work for several months.
The Vulgar Buzz site disappeared in fall of 2023 and though we had tried to reach out to the site creator many times, she had covered her tracks well. We never connected. Until...
In December of 2024 we realized that 'TheVulgarBuzz.com' domain was available and we immediately bought it and pointed it to one of our web pages (Who Wuzz Vulgar Buzz?).
BAM!
Within 24 hours we had received an email from Ms. Vulgar Buzz herself. Read more about that here.
After exchanging a few emails we realized we needed to chat on the phone. We both agreed that it would be a good idea to record it, transcribe it and post it for all to see. We posted our first conversation here and below you will see our tenth conversation.
(Jump to Chat 1, Chat 2, Chat 3, Chat 4, Chat 5, Chat 6, Chat 7, Chat 8, Chat 9, Chat 10)
Miriam and Buzz Have Their Tenth Chat on the Phone
In this chat, Buzz and Miriam discuss the process of healing and forgiveness that her therapist walked her through over the past few years. They also talked about the book that helped her the most.
(This chat was recorded and transcribed on October 25, 2025.)
Buzz: Hey Miriam!
Miriam: Helloooo Buzzz!
Buzz: So, I thought it would be helpful if we could take some time to unpack our last chat with our friends from Uganda...
Miriam: Yeah, I think that is a good idea. I mean, we did after all make some more changes to our Diaper Change posts because of that conversation...
Buzz: It seems to me that we are settling in our hearts what we intend to do on this site moving forward. That conversation helped me craft the Forgiveness, Surrender, Peace page anyway.
Miriam: Yes, I love that page, you really made our hopes clear. Thank you for that.
Buzz: You're welcome.
Miriam: You bringing up Brent Hansen's book got me thinking about it again.
Buzz: Right, ‘Unoffendable’. Did you actually read it?
Miriam: No, but I listened to it… the author read it and it was excellent… he’s a radio personality so he is very engaging and interesting to listen to…
Buzz: …and quite humorous as well….
Miriam: Definitely! I’m just so grateful you recommended it. I actually listened to it first this spring and then as we’ve been talking with our Ugandan friends, I kept getting the urge to re-listen to it. It was even better the second time through.
Buzz: I agree. Every time I revisit it since my counselor worked through it with me, it just gets better.
Miriam: The message is not acceptable to most people however… it is countercultural to the core. It turns out that the idea of remaining unoffendable is very offensive to most people, even many of my Christian friends!
It turns out that the idea of remaining unoffendable is very offensive to most people, even many of my Christian friends!
Buzz: <laughing> Truth! Unacceptable! But I think it may be because some people equate the concept of unoffendability with the notion of not caring about pursuing justice. Like, “I’m not going to let the fact that these people are being harmed offend me and therefore I’m not going to do anything about it.” But that isn’t what is being said here at all.
Miriam: No, refusing to take offense, become resentful or full of rage does not mean we don’t calmly work toward a more just world. Quite the opposite actually.
Buzz: Right, actually I am living proof of that.
Miriam: What do you mean exactly?
Buzz: Well, when my counselor was trying to help me work through my trauma and rage… well, you know... the ‘Vulgar Buzz images were just a first step.
Miriam: Right…
Buzz: So when she saw I was getting tired of being in that mode, she was ready to move me on to finding some deeper healing. She started coaching me in forgiveness and introduced me to Brant’s book. Growing up Catholic I knew Jesus was despised, rejected and killed by his own people…. and yet he refused to offer anger or hatred toward them.
Miriam: Right, his first words to his disciples who had deserted him and then found out he’d risen from the dead and was maybe tracking them down to give them hell for abandoning him were “Peace be with you”. They were expecting revenge, they instead received forgiveness and peace.
Buzz: Exactly. And that wasn’t just a one time occurrence. It was said so often and reiterated so much that it kind of got built into the pattern of Christian worship. I know it is in the Mass a lot anyway.
Miriam: Yeah, I noticed that when I went with my friend a couple times... a lot of the priest saying "Peace be with you" and the faithful responding "And also with you". Also, you pause somewhere in there to greet each other with the Peace of Christ.
Buzz: Yes, and I think this turns up in most ancient liturgies as well, not just the most recent ones you and I have seen. Anyway, as much as Jesus confronted his contemporaries, it wasn't because he was shocked or offended. He knew how broken we were. He may have been forceful at times but it wasn't a trauma induced rage or anything. If he exhibited any anger it certainly wasn’t because of unrealistic expectations of the broken people he was with. In my trauma I was a prime example of the kind of rage that such unrealistic expectations produce.
Miriam: And that, my friend, speaks into what we are doing at WWFFS. We’ve been told that our approach isn’t loving, peaceful or forgiving. That exposing the trauma and resulting rage you felt when you found out that you’d survived an abortion is not appropriate to make public. That it is trauma dumping, condemning, cruel and hateful. That we have unrealistic expectations of a world that has completely absorbed the culture of death. That we should be more sympathetic to women who like myself have had an abortion.
Miriam, you are a shining example of a loving response to my trauma-induced rage. You, of all people, could have taken offense at my Vulgar Buzz Original memes... You absolutely refused to take offense at my vulgarity and rage. I am so grateful for that response!
Buzz: Yes, we have received that push back and more. But Miriam, you are a shining example of a loving response to my trauma-induced rage. You, of all people, could have taken offense at my Vulgar Buzz Original memes. Instead you received it, pondered it, laughed at the smelly, biting satire, took the messages to heart and like a good mom, changed the dirty diaper. You absolutely refused to take offense at my vulgarity and rage. I am so grateful for that response! When I first saw your site, after you bought and redirected my vulgar buzz url to your site, I was so touched at you and your girlfriend’s tender approach to me.
Miriam: I’m so happy to hear that Buzz. However, when you and I finally connected via email and then began these chats, you also refused to be offended by what I’d done to my child. I felt nothing but love and kindness from you in addition to your grattitude for what we’d done with your images. You were thankful that we’d taken your memes and ‘softened the blow for sensitive souls’. You were grateful that we’d tried to understand you rather than judge you. You were surprised and elated that we’d guessed nearly correctly at what your situation in life was that caused you to make such images.
Buzz: Yes, we refused to be offended by each other didn’t we? So I guess we were living out the message of Brant’s book in a way.
Miriam: Yes, I believe we were trying to do just that. Whether we succeed or not will be for God to sort out.
Buzz: Truth. You know what?
Miriam: No, what?
Buzz: I’m thinking that we need to have a ‘Helpful Resources’ page. We could at the very least link to the Sisters of Life page. They are doing a great work mercy for people who’ve had abortions or miscarriages.
Miriam: I’ve never heard of them, but that sounds awesome. Let’s start building that page.
Buzz: Deal. One last thing...
Miriam: Fire away!
Buzz: I’m tearing up right now just in grattitude for being able to work with you on this site and really just to become phone friends. It has been such a source of blessing and hope and well… just being heard and loved in my life. Thank you.
Miriam: The feeling is so mutual my friend. I’ll get busy looking up the Sisters of Life and starting the Helpful Resources page you suggested.
Buzz: Excellent!
Miriam: Let’s chat again soon ok?
Buzz: Count on it. Ciao!
Miriam: Ci Vediamo!
Buzz: Hey, how do you know that much Italian?
Miriam: My husband and I took our second honeymoon recently in Italy.
Buzz: Nice! Good for you!
Miriam: Thanks!
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Want to Spread these Words of Hope and Healing?
Our friend and guardian created this business card that leads directly to our phone chats. Feel free to print up and distribute as many as you'd like! Pretty cool fan art I'd say!
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| This is what the business card front and back look like. Use the link below to get the file your local print shop will need to make these cards. |
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I welcome your posts here and promise to make them public as soon as I can. Thanks.