Diaper Change #0 - HELLO!?!?

Before:

The Dirty Diaper: VBO #0

After:

The Clean Diaper: WWFFS #0

Miriam's Commentary

As we found out in Buzz and Miriam's 7th Phone Chat, this was the first meme Buzz made. She never posted it on her original site because it lacked context and couldn't stand alone without explanation. Per her therapist's recommendation she began to use her graphic design skills to process her trauma when she found out she was a survivor of abortion. 

To do this she started thinking what it would be like if she were fully cognizant in utero, had an adequate and salty vocabulary, understood everything about abortion procedures and then... overheard her mother talking with her friends about having an abortion because of her circumstances. This image popped into her mind because of something she saw on the Babylon Bee. Every image that followed used the same template, with varying messages.

A Note from Buzz on Trauma Dumping

In the first meme above (we refer to these as 'Vulgar Buzz Originals' or VBO's) you get the full force of trauma that I was working through at age eighteen when I discovered that my mother had attempted to abort me. My therapist recommended that I use my graphic design skills to work through my rage, grief and pain... a closely supervised 'trauma dump' if you will. 

The visceral, raw and often vulgar rage you see in my original images is not that of some ultra right wing pro-lifer.

That fetus is me!

That little baby holding up the sign is me desperately trying to fight for my right to live.

This is personal, not theoretical.

Let that sink in a minute.

All that being said, I am happy to report that working through this under the careful guidance of my therapist has definitely helped. I've moved past the 'rage stage' and found some healing. Healing has also come through working with Miriam here and connecting with other abortion survivors (there are more of us than you think).

If you have been traumatized we highly recommend seeking healing through a psychologist who specializes in trauma therapy like our friend Paul in Uganda. (nkatapaul@gmail.com, WhatsApp  +256765480918). We had the privilege of speaking with Paul in Chat 8 which you can see here.

Our friend in Uganda specializes in trauma therapy

VBO memes are not for sensitive souls or the feint of heart. They are presented here not as an exercise in vicarious traumatization, but rather to allow the viewer to gain some sense of the raw trauma that I and other abortion survivors have experienced. I believe it also gives a relatively realistic response of a tiny human in utero if it was given adequate abilities to express itself knowing it was about to be violently dispatched.

Miriam on Diaper Changes

A mother isn’t bothered by a messy diaper or a child covered in vomit. We clean them off, sometimes singing to them or tickling them along the way and then we send them off to play.

As such a mom, I’m treating each Vulgar Buzz Original (VBO) as a child with a dirty diaper. I’m not bothered much by its stench and refuse to ignore the child because it is smelly or in this case, uttering crass vulgarities under dire duress, a completely understandable response to trauma.

It was pretty easy to imitate the VBO style with InDesign to make the more civil language version above. My intent in doing this is to begin bringing healing to the traumatized soul, like any mom would. In the end however, it isn't important which image helps a person make a better choice, it only matters that the message hits home before it is too late for the most vulnerable humans in the world.